Sick and Tired

Warning - Today's post is brutally honest, quite negative, and therefore, not uplifting in the least.  I apologize.  Let's just say it was not the best of weekends.

I am sick and tired.

Sick and tired of:

• my child needing an adult buddy just to be able to attend church.
• wondering if I'll ever watch my child in a children's church choir.
• seeing my child's peers progress while mine remains so far behind.

Sick and tired of:

• my child hitting herself in the head.
• hearing my child hit herself in the head through the baby monitor.
• putting my child to bed with a helmet on then having to sneak in and take it off once she's asleep.
• hearing the loud "thwap" of my child hitting her helmet.
• seeing my child wear a helmet more often than not. 

Sick and tired of:

• therapy - behavioral, speech, occupational, music..... all of it.
• the iPad, the iPod, and any communication device other than a voice.
• progress reports, program sheets, and trying to teach my child things that should be instinctual.

Sick and tired of:

• reading and researching and constantly looking for something, anything, that might help my child.
• always having to advocate for my child.
• being one of those moms.

Sick and tired of:

• wondering if my child will ever speak.
• always attempting to figure out what my child is trying to say.
• just trying to get through the day instead of really enjoying it.
• not getting to play with my child like other moms.

I am sick and tired of being different.

I am sick and tired of special needs.

I am sick and tired of autism.

I am just tired.