Flying the Friendly Skies.... At Least I Hope So

Traveling with kids is always a challenge.  But traveling with special needs children can add a whole nother layer of challenge to the experience.  Now that I know we're going to be flying to California in October, I have a little over two months to worry about Lily on the airplane.

So can you guess what I've already started doing?

If you said googling tips on traveling with special needs children, then you're correct!

And wouldn't you know it?  I've come across some pretty helpful stuff already.  And really, most of what I've found is helpful information for all kids and their parents.

Even though we're coming up on the end of summer, so many families travel throughout the year nowadays that I thought I'd go ahead and share some of the best ones with you.

Pick Your Seat.  If at all possible, book the first row of your section so that your child has nothing (or no one!) to kick but a wall.  Yes, you lose the storage under the seat in front of you, but you gain peace of mind in not having to tell your child to stop kicking the seat in front of him 362 times.  If you can't get the front row, maybe another adult or older (and very patient) sibling traveling with you might be willing to take the seat in front of your child.  At least then your child is kicking someone who loves him no matter what!

Take The Carseat.  Yes, it's just another thing to carry.  And it's not even an easy thing to carry.  Especially when you're thinking your kid might take off at any moment and you need to be light on your feet and able to react quickly.  But it's worth the trouble because if your carseat is anything like Lily's, it provides 5-point maximum restraint - something that will be much more beneficial than that little lap belt. And I'm not just talking for safety reasons here, if you get my drift.  That lap belt would take Lily all of three seconds to realize she could undo which she would then proceed to undo 362 times.  Fortunately, Lily likes her carseat and she's comfortable with it so it will remove the "new seat" factor that an airplane seat would present.

Tape a Picture Over the Lap Tray Latch.  This tip I LOVE.  How many times have your kids discovered that sliding that little latch over releases that little tray and it falls down?  And then they put the tray back up and repeat the whole process 362 times?  As soon as you get to your seat, before your kid realizes what that white thing on the seat back is, tape a fun picture over the whole tray table that covers the latch and leave it there the whole flight.  I've even seen those hanging seat organizers with pockets for crayons, coloring books, handheld games and the like that you might put there, especially if you know the person sitting in the seat in front of your child.


If At All Possible, Fly Non-Stop.  It's hard enough waiting in line to board and getting settled in your seat without having to do it multiple times.  Depending on how much it is, it just might be worth the extra money you spend in order to prevent possible meltdowns.  


Bring Lots of Stuff.  Lots.  Handheld games, iPads, iPods, DVD players, laptops, headphones, crayons and coloring books, puzzles, books, magnetic games, lacing cards, stringing beads, non-staining playdough, Barbies... whatever will help keep your child busy and happy.  Don't bring it all out at once.  And don't let your child see all of it.  Just hand him one thing.  Or ask if he wants to color or do a puzzle.  Then as you see him start to get a little restless, put that thing away and bring out something different.  Make each thing last as long as you can.


If You Need Help, Be Specific.  As parents of special needs children, we've had lots of time to learn the ins and outs of caring for our kiddos.  Just saying your child has autism might not mean anything to the gate agent.  Be specific.  For example, if waiting in a crowded terminal overwhelms your child, briefly explain that to the gate agent and ask where there might be a quiet corner where you could sit with your child until time to board.  Be nice and remember - you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.  Who knows - if you're really nice, you might get a better seat.  I've seen it happen with my husband multiple times.  He has the gift of schmooze and it comes in handy!


Give Yourself More Time Than You Think You'll Need.  Rushing around will only make you more cranky and frantic and therefore your children more cranky and frantic.


I don't really know how I feel about this next tip yet.  


We've all been out in public, seen a child having a tantrum and and made an automatic judgement call about how we would handle that kid if he belonged to us.  I've done it myself.  Of course, my eyes have been opened and I now understand that I don't know it all!  I'm not so quick to judge anymore and I'm much more likely to offer help.  


To address this judgement issue, I know a couple of moms who have resorted to having their children wear special t-shirts when traveling.  T-shirts that let people know their children have autism and that some of the behaviors they exhibit are attributed to that.  


For example, look at these tees from Cafe Press:








They even have shirts for moms or dads to wear if you don't want to put one on your child:


And then some of the shirts have a little more direct message, I guess you could say:










While I have felt like saying some of the things that are on those last five shirts, I don't think I would ever actually wear one.  Or put one on Lily.  If I'm asking people to be understanding or seeking to educate them, I don't think I'm going to accomplish that by being antagonistic.  Though staring and rude comments directed to me or my child can be perceived as antagonistic, I certainly don't have to sink down to that same level.

A large part of me thinks it's no one's business and if Lily has a meltdown, then she has a meltdown. We deal with it and move on, just like we would if we had a child without special needs who was having a tantrum.  But the way we handle these situations is what makes them a little more unique.  For example, if we needed to do a holding position with Lily to calm her down, it's going to look a little strange to outsiders.

I'll have to think on this one a little more.

Any travel tips you want to pass along?

And what do you think - T-shirt or no t-shirt?

Talk to me!