Thursday, September 2, 2010

A Full Moon

This morning, I woke up to a full moon.

Now you say, "How did you wake up to a full moon, Lana?  Hello!  You only see full moons at night.  I'm seriously starting to doubt your sanity!"

To which I reply, "There was a full moon this morning, I tell you!  And let's please leave the state of my mental health out of this discussion."

Let's start at the beginning...

Scene One:

Once upon a time, very, very late, in the dark middle of the night,  I heard a little voice.  And since my sanity has already been questioned, no - this was not a little voice inside my head!  This was the sweet, precious voice of my baby girl, babbling away in her bed.  Not crying or unhappy, mind you.  Just a pleasant little conversation between her and herself.

Not wanting to intrude on her private moment, I rolled over and promptly fell back asleep.

Now you say, "That Lana is such a good mom - so considerate!"

To which I reply, "Oh, please stop.  You're making me blush!"

Scene Two:

After hitting the snooze button several times, I finally haul myself out of my cozy bed to begin fixing breakfast and lunches for all three daughters.

Now you say, "What???  Aren't your big girls 16 and 14 years old?  What are you doing still fixing their lunches???"

To which I reply, "I am a sucker."

I hear Lily and realize that she is awake.  I enter her bedroom to help her get out of bed and what do I see?

You guessed it - a full moon!

My lovely daughter has removed not just her pajama bottoms, but her diaper as well.  She is sitting in her bed, happy as a clam, naked as the day she was born.  Well, almost - she was still wearing her pajama top.  But still....

My mind flashes back to that sweet little babbling I heard in the dark middle of the night.  It strikes me that maybe I didn't quite catch the conversation like I thought I had.  Now I'm imagining it went a little something like this:

Lily (as Her) - "My diaper is soaking wet!"

Lily (as Herself) - "I know!  My bum is totally damp and uncomfortable."

Lily (as Her) - "How is a kid supposed to sleep with a wet behind???"

Lily (as Herself) - "Maybe Mom will come change this disgusting diaper."

Lily (as Her) - "Good idea.  Let's talk a little louder and surely she'll come to the rescue."

Tick, Tock.... Tick, Tock.... Tick, Tock.... (minutes passing here)

Lily (as Herself) - "I don't think she's coming."

Lily (as Her) - "I think we're going to have to take matters into our own hands."

Lily (as Herself) - "You're right.  Off with the pants, off with the diaper."

Lily (as Her) - "A little breezy, but much better."

Lily (as Herself) - "Mom is a lazy bum."

While I prefer my version in which I play the role of "Considerate Mom", I'm afraid last night I played the part of "Lazy Bum".  So, instead of flowers and applause, my reward is washing sheets.

I just hope there's no encore performance.

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