Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Ride of My Life

I think all of us with children have good days and bad days.

But sometimes, life with special needs children can feel just plain hard.

And I would be lying if I told you that sometimes I wonder just what God was thinking when He chose to send Lily Bird our way.

By my very nature, I am a fixer.  Give me a problem and nine times out of ten, I can solve it for you.

Just tell me the news, good or bad, so I can start doing something about it.  And it sure won't be sitting around idly, waiting for a solution.

I will read, research, ask questions, investigate, come up with a plan of action, apply said plan and expect positive results to begin happening immediately.

And if they don't?  Then I go back to the drawing board to devise Plan B.

God knows this about me.

Yet He still chose me to be Lily's mother.  Me... of all people.

So now I find myself on this roller coaster ride called "Special Needs", full of unexpected twists, turns, dips, drops....

I wake up every morning, strap myself in, and hold the bar tightly.  My hands bleed.  I worry about sailing right off the tracks. And my heart doesn't just catch in my throat.  It leaps all the way out of my chest and sits beside me, holding the bar and looking up at me like, "what now?".

I don't know what's around the bend.  I'm not familiar with this ride.  And even though I have read every manual, studied how this ride was made, and talked with people who have ridden it before, I still don't know what to expect.

Because this is my ride - my experience.  And everyone's experience on this ride is just a little different.

I may not have a definite plan for the future.  But I know the One who does.

Hear this:

I am your strength and shield.  I plan out each day and have it ready for you, long before you arise from bed.  I also provide the strength you need each step of the way.  Instead of assessing your energy level and wondering about what's on the road ahead, concentrate on staying in touch with Me.  My power flows freely into you through our open communication.  Refuse to waste energy worrying, and you will have strength to spare. 
Taken from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young
January 31 devotion
The only thing I am sure of is that no matter what thrills and terrors this ride holds, Lily and I are strapped in for the long haul and according to God's plan, we'll get there together, she and I.

1 comment:

  1. AMEN! Love that encouraging devotion!! It can apply to all of us and where we are at in our lives. It is so hard to do but so easy if we let go and trust God...yet if we know this, why is it always so hard to let go and let God...especially if we have seen Him work with us like this before? Will we ever learn? Will it ever get any easier? Our will is a strong one and is a constant battle, yet He is so patient with us. What a lesson in life!


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