Quick Update - More to Come

I know that most of you have been waiting on pins and needles to hear how the dentist appointment went yesterday.  I'm imagining that most of you are unable to work or do laundry or take phone calls or even eat for fear that you will miss the next post.  I'm sure you've already checked the blog about 25 times this morning, am I right?

Don't answer that.

Just let me have my little fantasy.

So, here's the scoop:

Lily survived.  The dentist survived and still has all 10 of her fingers intact.  Ryan and I both survived, though I did check to see the location of the laughing gas as soon as we entered the building.  I thought this might be important to know... for Lily's sake, of course.

I'll give you some more details and share with you a few ideas I have regarding dentistry later because now, I'm off to the beauty shop to get my gray covered up.

Check back this evening because I'm sure you won't be able to sleep without knowing more, am I right?

Don't answer that.

Nervous

I am a bundle of nerves today.

We're taking Lily to her very first dentist appointment this afternoon.

The fact that she's almost five years old and has never been to the dentist may be appalling to some of you. I invite those of you who feel that way to take her yourself anytime you like!  I think you'll quickly understand why I've put this off as long as I have.

First, the good news.  

We're going to Rising Stars Pediatric Dentistry, a full service dental clinic designed just for special needs children and those kiddos with an extreme fear of the dentist.  I picked up their card last October at the Autism Speaks Walk for Autism.  

Which lets you know that I've been putting this off for almost a year now.

Now, the bad news.

I'm a nervous wreck.  

By the time 1:30 rolls around, I'll probably need the laughing gas more than Lily does.

Which brings up the ever present dilemma in life with a special needs child:  I cannot control Lily's behavior.

Parents with typical kiddos might be thinking they can't control their child's behavior either.

But here's the difference:  You can talk to a typical child, knowing they understand you perfectly well. You can establish clear boundaries with consequences and then follow through on your "discipline plan" knowing that your child understood the rules and simply disobeyed.

When Ryley and Reagan were little, we had something called an "If...Then Chart" hanging in the kitchen that looked a little something like this:

It's put out by a wonderful homeschool company called Doorposts.  

This chart lists every single bad behavior known to man on the left side, also known as the "If's".  In the middle, there's a Bible verse addressing the particular behavior.  And on the right hand side are the "Then's", the consequences for the behavior.

Here's a little closer view:

Here's how it worked:  Say that Ryley was mad at Reagan so she hit her.  All I had to do was walk over to my handy dandy chart and show Ryley the consequence for hitting her sister.  Then I would administer the consequence.

We used this for years because it was a very effective tool for Ryley and Reagan. 

Then along comes Lily Bird.

If I hung this chart in my kitchen today, it would be purely for the sake of decor.

I cannot give Lily the "mad mom look" and expect her to quiet down and obey.  I can't explain the discipline plan to her.  I can't lean down and whisper in her ear that she better quit stomping her feet and hitting her head or else she will go to time-out.  It just doesn't work like that.

Today, I can't explain to Lily about going to the dentist and everything that means.  I can't take her to watch while I'm getting my teeth cleaned so she can see that it's no big deal.  I can't tell her if she's a good girl, we'll go get ice cream afterwards.

All I can do is immediately respond to the situation at hand.  

For example, I can tell her if she keeps turning the volume up on her iPad during a volleyball game that I will take the iPad away for a minute.  I can tell her if she eats the Play-doh, we have to put it up.

See the difference?  I can't do much to prevent something.  Most of what I can do is respond to something that has already happened.

Today, I would love to be able to control Lily's behavior.  To prevent some of the negative things I'm anticipating happening.

And this afternoon, I know I won't be able to.

Sigh.

Where's that laughing gas???

Let's Hear it for The Moms!

Psychology Today recently had an article titled Autism Moms Rock.

In my opinion, it applies to moms who have children with any kind of special need.  It's a great read and gives a nice bit of recognition to those mothers working hard for their special kids everyday.

But I also know lots of moms with typical kids who rock, too.

Take my cousin, Kristin.  She's putting her teaching degree to wonderful use and is homeschooling her oldest son in preparation for kindergarten next year.  You can follow along in her adventures at The Hayden Family blog.

And another Kristen, who works tirelessly reading labels, researching, identifying, tweaking and re-tweaking her son's diet to both improve his behavior and help him feel better.  You can read her words of wisdom in her blog, Ivy League.

How about Piper, the mother of four children ages 8, 6, 5 and 4 who makes it look easy.  Her house runs like a well-oiled machine.  And she makes time for homeschooling, teaching math classes for an online learning program, creating beautiful scrapbooks, and doing some seriously extreme couponing.

Liz, a fellow pastor's wife.  Kim and her... count 'em... five sons.  Both ladies striving to be exactly the moms God wants them to be.

I could go on and on about all the moms I know who rock.  I could write a whole nother blog about awesome moms I know and never run out of material!

But what about you?

What makes you rock?

Maybe you're a party planner extraordinaire.  Or maybe you channel your inner actress when reading bedtime stories.  Maybe you're a champion booger picker - it's all in the pinkie, am I right??

Today, I want you to give yourself a shout out.

Don't be shy!

Brag on yourself.  Or if you just can't bring yourself to do it, brag on a mom you know.

Tell me what makes you rock.

And dads - we know you rock, too.  Maybe Psychology Today will write an article just for the men...

Now.  Let the comments begin!

Crunching The Numbers

Hey - just wondered if any of you noticed that we now have 101 followers!

WooHoo!

And, Along Came the Bird has 43 votes in the Parents Magazine Best Blog Awards!

To celebrate, I'm working on a giveaway with Kelly Lester from Easy Lunchboxes so be sure to check back for updates and to enter.

Don't forget to vote for the blog if you haven't yet.

Please and thank you!

Happy Labor Day!

A Few Things for the Ladies

Most of the time, when I write about things I've come across online, it has to do with stuff for the kiddos.

Since we're approaching the weekend, I thought it would be nice to let you in on a few things I've discovered that might be fun for you ladies.

First, Life Beautiful magazine.  I don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for those "pretty" magazines, like Southern Living, Country Living, and House Beautiful.  I love looking at all the pictures and reading the delicious recipes, knowing full well that my house will never be magazine worthy and I'll probably be making Sloppy Joes for supper until I die.

Life Beautiful is just like those "pretty" magazines but it's written from a Christian perspective.  In fact, the subtitle says, "Faith for your Journey".  So sprinkled throughout the lovely pages, you'll find inspirational articles, verses of Scripture, and uplifting stories.

I think you'll like it!

Second, for those of you that use paper planners, do you know about Mom Agenda calendars?  These are my all time favorites because there is space for every family member - unless you have 8 kids or something.  I like the spiral version best - and I don't put it in a cover.  These run on a school calendar year so now's the perfect time to buy one.

Next, a time-saver trick that I'm hoping really does work - The Busy Mom Hair Trick That Changed My Life definitely caught my attention when I saw it on the Twitter.

Confession:  I don't have wash and wear hair.  So I have been known to blow dry and hot roll to get that nice, loose wavy look.  You know, the one that looks like I didn't spend much time on my hair when I really did?  So any tip that promises quick, easy, pretty hair that takes place while I'm sleeping is something I have to try.  I'm hoping to give it a go this weekend.

Now, for those mamas with special needs children, don't you get tired of having to explain your child's diagnosis over and over again?  Don't you wish sometimes that you could just hand off a sheet of information about your child and his diagnosis?  Well, now you can.  Check out Handy Handouts for tons of printable sheets that are free for parents, teachers, and therapists.

And since we're approaching a long Labor Day weekend, how about some fun activities to do with your children?

If your child has sensory issues, look no further than this website for more activities than you could do in a lifetime!  These activities are great fun for typical kids, too.

If you live in Austin or the surrounding area, click here for a list of some fun and free things to do as a family this weekend.

Have a great Friday and a super Labor Day!

The Bird Nest

Yesterday I told you that there were some things changing around my house.

I failed to mention that we also made a few changes in The Bird's bedroom.  She had carpet in her room as well so it's gone and replaced with that same lovely laminate flooring.  She can now spill juice to her heart's content and I can just swipe it up with a damp paper towel.

Score one for mom.

Since we were changing the floor, we decided to go ahead and do a little bit of redecorating in Lily's room, too.

My mom came from Virginia for a quick visit and so I did what I do best when she comes to town - put her to work.  We made a trip to IKEA and got some things to not only jazz up Lily Bird's room but with the idea of making it a bit more functional.

For example, most of you know that Lily knows ABC order when she plays Alphabet Freeze on the iPad.  But I want to know if she can transfer that knowledge to other things, like those magnetic letters.  I also thought we might be able to do some matching games.

So I had the bright idea of hanging two whiteboards at a low level in her bedroom.

I'm not a total dunce, though.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to leave the magnetic letters out all the time.  I thought I'd hang a bucket above the whiteboards that she couldn't reach.  Then she would only do letters and games with me or Ryan or the big sisters.

Good idea, right?

Well, we'll see....

So here's some pictures of The Bird's revamped room:

Beautiful laminate flooring with a soft rug for playing.

 Cozy seating area complete with enormous bean bag perfect for looking at books or TV viewing.

Lily-sized plastic table and chairs.  Plastic is key here.  Lily can chew on it if she feels the need and I don't have to worry about her ruining furniture or ingesting wood.

I've learned a thing or two over the years....

Nice large family pictures hanging on a wire.  Lily likes looking at family pictures.  (I stole this idea from my mother-in-law, one of the first to notice that Lily liked looking at the big family pictures she has hanging on her gameroom wall.)

Here's a shot of how the pictures look above the little table and chairs.  Except I just realized I cut my father-in-law out.  Sorry, Grandpa!

My mom wanted Lily to have a large unbreakable mirror so that she might catch her reflection more often and express some interest in it.  So we hunted down a place that does acrylic mirror and had one cut just for her room.

I also wanted to place some of her favorite toys on an unreachable shelf so that she would have to communicate in some way that she wanted one to play with - a little purposeful sabotage to encourage talking. 

And the TV is up high because, I repeat, I've learned a thing or two over the years.

One of Lily's newest fun activities to do when she's in her room by herself is open all those dresser drawers and fling the clothing around the room.  

This afternoon, I'm purchasing a yardstick to slide through the handles so she can't open the drawers. How long do you think that will last?  Feel free to place your bets.

Now to the infamous whiteboards.  This is where they were hanging.  

And if you look closely, you can see the holes in the wall both where we had trouble hanging them straight and from when Lily ripped them off the wall.  It only took her about 48 hours to do so.  It looked really cute while it lasted.

I'm not giving up, though.  I'm trying to come up with some alternatives, like flat sheets of magnetic whiteboard.  Something besides painting with magnetic paint.  Because I don't like to paint.  And this is a DIY project.

Well, DIY + my Mom.

Actually, it's more a DIM project - Do It Mom.

I hesitate to show you Lily's adorable bed because it's a little different than most children's beds.  We needed a safer option for her since she is a destructive wanderer, a common trait among children with autism.

But I think we've been friends long enough now that I can show you this without you thinking I'm some kind of monster parent.

And here it is:  Lily Bird's Safety Bed.

It's truly a one-of-a-kind original design and was a labor of love amongst myself and the several others it took to design, create, build, paint, and decorate it.

Lily absolutely loves it.  Not that she cares that much about the decor.  But she does love getting all snuggled up in there, like it's her own little playhouse.  

So there you have it.  

A bedroom fit for a Bird.