Let's Do Lunch!

I know that for many of you, your kids are out of school now and you're free from lunch-packing duty.

But there are quite a few of us whose kids go to school year round, like Lily Bird.

Some of you may have kids going to day camps where a packed lunch is required.

And don't forget about family picnics!

So the bottom line is there still may be occasion for food to be packed up and transported somewhere.

I don't know about you but I get stuck in a rut and end up sending the same food week after week. Of course, Lily Bird doesn't mind all that much. I think the girl could eat buttered noodles every single day. But I'm hoping to add a little more variety to her diet.

I'm also trying to be a little earth-friendly and cut down on my use of baggies and plastic wrap. But I don't want to break the bank on expensive bento-type lunch boxes.

I recently found what I think is the greatest lunchbox system ever. It works great, keeps food cool, and best of all - it's inexpensive!

It's called Easy Lunchboxes and you can check it out here.

I have eight of the containers and one cooler bag.

If I want to send something warm in Lily's lunch, I just stick a thermos in the cooler bag, too.

Now, for some good ideas on what to pack in that lunchbox, click here.

Have some fun with lunch!

See you Thursday!

I Spy With My Little Eye

Note taking.

List making.

Chart creating.

Record keeping.

All of these things are just an everyday part of life with a special needs child.

We keep track of what foods our child eats and how many calories he consumes. We make sure the "output" matches the "input", if you know what I mean. We record what milestones are met and when they occur. We write notes on progress made and any loss of skills we might observe. We take notes on hours slept and how well the night went.

And on it goes.

Since I've been collecting all of Lily's medical records, I've come across several journals in which Ryan and I recorded just these types of things about our girl.

Looking back over them, I realized something I don't think I really noticed at the time those notebooks were written.

Observing your child in that way 24/7 can take a toll on you.

In a way, you are forced to look at your child with clinical eyes, rather than through the loving eyes of a parent.

The simple joy of being a mom can almost be crushed under the weight of the additional responsibility of playing clinician.

You can't seem to escape that lingering voice of worry that whispers things in your ear, such as, "she's still not stacking blocks", even in those moments when you are just trying to relax and play.

Yet you cannot stop writing these things down because there will be endless questions at the next doctor or therapy appointment.

It can be hard to find a balance.

While I still record things about Lily, I must admit I've lightened up on the 24/7 observing.

Because at the end of the day, I want to be Lily's mom.

Of course, I want the best for her.

I want to be able to answer questions about her habits, behaviors, routines, and milestones. I want to truthfully tell therapists that we work on newly acquired skills at home. I want medical personnel to think that I am the best data management mom they've ever seen.

But more than all of that, I want to have fun with my daughter.

I want to lay on the big green beanbag and watch youtube videos with her. I want to give her a foot massage when she sticks both feet in my face. I want to take her outside when she grabs my hand and pulls me to the back door.

I want to be the mom.

Lily sees about five doctors and eight therapists. That's 13 people involved in her care. That list will most definitely change throughout the years.

But she only has one mom and one dad.

And that will never change.

Ryan and I were given some advice right after Lily was diagnosed. The advice came from a family with an adult special needs son.

They told us to spend at least ten minutes each day just watching Lily.

I have to admit, I didn't really think this was such valuable advice at the time. In fact, my first reaction was, "well duh.... I don't think I've taken my eyes off this child since she was born."

Upon further explanation, I began to understand what they were saying.

For ten minutes every day, shut out everything. Turn off that mean voice inside your head that points out everything she can't do. Tune out voices of doctors, nurses, therapists, specialists, and teachers. Don't set up any therapeutic play. Leave the pen and legal pad in the office.

For ten minutes, just let Lily be.

And then watch her.

See with your own eyes "Lily Your Daughter" not "Lily the Girl with Autism" or "Lily the Nonverbal Child" or "Lily - the No Block Stacker".

Get to know your daughter.

Learn to interact with her on her terms.

Learn to play with her the way she wants to play.

Make a unique connection with her that only her mom or dad can have.

And fall in love with her.

It truly was some of the best advice we were ever given.

Oh, I was good at looking at Lily as a project. Or as something that needed to be "fixed". Analyzing her. Taking notes.

But looking at her as my daughter? It was getting lost in the midst of all the data.

I did love my daughter right from the moment of birth.

But in ten minutes every day, I FELL IN LOVE with my daughter, head over heels with my whole heart, a feeling that was almost robbed from me because of a diagnosis.

Today, take ten minutes to just watch your child.

Yes, it's ten minutes of therapy lost.

But what you stand to gain?

Priceless.

And worth every minute of "wasted" time.

Coming to a Bookstore Near You.... If He Can Find a Publisher

So.

I guess my idea about answering any of your special needs questions wasn't such a great one, after all.

I didn't get a single question.

Maybe it's like this: my life is pretty much an open book just by the writing of this blog so more than likely, I've already answered all your questions, right? Right.

Moving on now.

I think many of you have figured out by now that I am on vacation at the moment.

Usually at some point during a vacation, Ryan will get some burst of creative inspiration which results in a sermon series or book idea.

Most often this moment of inspiration comes from something beautiful in nature.

This time, however, the inspiration is from something I never would have expected: the kitchen in our condo.

Namely, the instant hot water dispenser located at the kitchen sink.

You know what I'm talking about - that typically skinny little faucet right next to the hot and cold water taps. This is almost a standard feature in many homes in cold weather country.

Now, when I see an instant hot water dispenser, I think of hot tea or hot chocolate with no wait.

Not so my husband.

I can almost see the wheels turning in his head.

He looks at me with something closely resembling excitement on his face and says, "I can make instant oatmeal."

OK. I guess that's nice, if you like instant oatmeal.

But he wasn't done yet.

"I could also make Easy Mac. Or Ramen."

I'm looking at him a little funny now.

I mean, the man doesn't even really like to use the microwave at home because, in his own words, I push the buttons better than him.

In almost 20 years of marriage, I've never seen him quite this excited about cooking, if you can call preparing food using only an instant hot water dispenser, actual cooking.

I jokingly said, "Maybe you should write a cookbook."

Well, now the man is on an official roll, dreaming of an instant hot water dispenser cookbook.

While we have discussed other topics, I know this cookbook idea is simmering at the back of his mind. I know this because every now and then, he will just blurt out something like this:

"It could be called 'Just Add HOT Water'."

or:

"Another recipe could be an oatmeal suicide - mixing together two different instant oatmeal flavor packets, like maple and brown sugar with apples and cinnamon!"

or, I suppose for those with more refined taste buds:

"How about boiling pasta and then pouring Ragu over it? Instant spaghetti!"

For any of you, such as myself, who worried that Ryan might not be able to really slow down and relax on this vacation, rest easy.

I believe contemplating a cookbook whose only potential audience might be college boys is the sign of my husband's mind at rest.

Unless he starts trying to turn this idea into a sermon illustration, the man is relaxed.

I myself am relaxed but I might lose that if he starts asking me to taste his "creations".

He just walked by with something hot in a bowl and asked me to please refer to him as "Chef Rush".

Help me, Lord.

The Welcome Wagon

I wanted to welcome any new readers who found their way to Along Came the Bird by way of Kelly's Korner or Love That Max.

I'm glad to have you here!

If you'd like a little background on our family journey, check out these posts:

http://alongcamethebird.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html

http://alongcamethebird.blogspot.com/2011/02/story-of-bird.html

I don't have a computer with me at the moment so I'm using an iPad. You might have to actually cut and paste these rather than click them as a link. Sorry about that but I'm a bit of a computer dunce!

Welcome aboard - I'd love to hear from you!

Stump the Mommy

I have an idea.

I mentioned in Wednesday's post about a conversation taking place between two blogs - Love That Max and Scary Mommy. People can ask questions or make comments about special needs and they are discussed by special needs parents.

That got me to thinking that maybe you might have some questions for me.

There might be some things you've wondered about special needs families, such as "Is it ok with you if I ask questions about your child's diagnosis?" or "Is it alright to offer help to a family whose special needs child is having a tantrum?".

You might even have some questions that are Lily-specific.

I may not have all the answers but I can give you my honest opinion on what's helpful, what's not, and how to appropriately bring up a topic that can sometimes be difficult to talk about.

So take some time this weekend to think about what you might like to ask and then bring it on! You can post your questions as a comment below or you can click the email button and contact me that way. You could even click the Facebook or Twitter button and ask your question there.

I'll spend some time next week answering your questions.

Don't be shy! This is your chance to open a conversation that will be good for all of us.

Enjoy your weekend - see you Monday!

Sweet Summer Fun

I remember when my big girls were younger, one of our favorite things to do was sit down and plan out all the fun things we wanted to do during the summer break.

We wrote it all - big stuff, like vacations and waterpark visits and little stuff, like baking cookies and reading a book together.

While I'm a big fan of letting kids get bored and entertain themselves, I also like to have a few things at the ready when everyone could use a little fun family time.

Need some inspiration?

Check out this poster idea I found at Forever Folding Laundry:




Look at this cute freebie from Laura Winslow Photography that you can print out, frame, and hang up:



I think you've got the idea.

Take some time to make a list with your kiddos.  Get them involved in the planning.

And don't complicate things with elaborate events.  The simplest things are often the most enjoyable.

Most of all, have fun!